Wanna Fuck? What gets us in our head, and your bed.

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Crushin' After Marriage?

Crushin’ After Marriage?

I want to confess that I have a crush on my neighbor. He is really cute, sweet and nice to everyone (and he’s single!) However, I cannot pursue that interest. Why? Because I am not available, I’m married. While it is true that this means I cannot pursue him in my waking life, (nor will I) I can always dream right? Of course I can! Because we cannot control our subconscious mind! I have seen him in my dreams; I have had sex with him in my dreams. I’ve even caught myself staring at him thinking about those dreams on a few occasions.

My husband knows all about it too. I hide nothing from him. I am in a relationship where we don’t keep secrets from each other. There is no need to! Though sometimes we can get jealous (mostly me) we live quite happily knowing that the other one is comfortable enough to share these deep dark secrets. Hell, even the neighbor knows that I think he’s hot! LMAO, couldn’t be from the fact that when I’m face to face with him, no matter who else is around, or if we’re alone talking in the yard or on the phone. My mind to mouth censor is broken! I cannot seem to control what comes out of my mouth when I’m around him. Yes, I have said (and done) some of the most embarrassing things around him that it’s not even funny. Well, he and my husband apparently think it is!

Yes, it’s true. Even the married men and women of the world can have crushes on someone they are not married to. It happens all the time.

You can have crushes on others and still maintain a monogamous relationship. You don’t HAVE to cross that line, just because you like someone. (Forgive me a middle school moment) Not just like, but LIKE LIKE that person.

I never make my husband feel inferior to our neighbor that would be wrong. I love my husband and to be able to look at him so many years later and still get butterflies in my stomach, that’s unusual in these times. He’s a wonderful man, a hard worker, a terrific father and he treats me like a Goddess (though I don’t know why! For the life of me, I can’t figure out why he is even with me, but I guess that makes me the Lucky One)

I’m not telling anyone to go cross that line, or if they aren’t in a relationship that is as honest with everything as mine, I don’t recommend telling your other half you’re crushin’ on a buddy of his/hers. Some people just have inferiority complexes, but it is also important that you make a decision about everything and think it through before you pursue anything! Crushin’ is one thing, cheating is something completely different and once you cross that line, you cannot go back!

~Freya

These are the types of conversations someone like me has these days:

Him: are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Me:  does it involve food or a bed?

Him:  both

Me:  Lunch and a nap it is!

Him:  Close

 

Me:  Breakfast in bed is even better!  You're so sweet!

 

Him:  Call it whatever you like

 

Me:  Oh, you were thinking tacos and sausage, weren't you?

 

Him:  of course!

 

Now why am I not getting laid?!?!  Is it more fun to just talk about it?  Or am I really just actually bashful in person?  I guess we shall begin to explore this issue and find out!

Sexy is a State of mind

Sexy is a state of mind

                That’s no line! Sexy truly is a state of mind! If you think sexy, feel sexy and know you’re sexy, then you radiate sexy! Confidence is the key. You have to be confident in yourself before others will see the confidence on you!

                To radiate confidence and sexuality I strongly recommend you knowing that you are truly sexy! You remember your mother telling you, ‘don’t slouch, you’ll get a hunch’? Well, would you have listened better if she put it this way? “Don’t slouch, you’ll look sexier.” This is true! Good posture makes you look taller and slimmer. Stand tall, shoulders back and down and when you stand still, placing one foot in front of you helps to elongate your legs making them look longer and make you look slightly taller. I’m not saying go out and strike a pose, you’re not on a run way, but if you do this subtly and comfortably, you will also feel more sexy.

                Be confident, be true, be sexy, be you!!!!

~Freya

Men vs Women; the double standards

Men v Women; Double standards

                This is one of my biggest pet peeves, I knew the moment I was asked to contribute to Sinful that I would address this one!

It seems that no matter what a woman does, there’s a vile and disgusting name that describes them in the minds of men. When I was in High School, guys thought I was ‘easy’ until they dated me. Then I went from being ‘easy’ to being a ‘tease’ because I didn’t put out. Is it my fault that their friends lied to them? Must have been one hell of a rumor for several years though, because I had quite a few boyfriends, most of which ended in their utter disappointment. Truth is I wasn’t promiscuous in school. Not by normal High School standards. I will openly admit I had a few partners, and by a few, I honestly mean a small handful. I can count the number of partners I’ve had on one hand.
                Even though I didn’t sleep around in High School, if some guy I dated once upon a time discovered that I had slept with anyone, (even if it had been a year after we dated) I instantly became a slut. So, I was a tease for NOT putting out, and a slut because I put out with someone other than the guy who only wanted to date me because he thought he could get laid. How does this make any sense?

                These days, I sit around listening to my husband and his friend chit chat on the phone, which many times end with my husband laughing and my asking, ‘what did he do now?’ This man has a few bad habits that I do not admire and I would be single if my husband followed in his footsteps with some of these things. This friend of my husbands is single and not bad looking. He often tells my husband not to share these details with me, but of course he does. He can’t help it, because I always ‘know’ anyways. I am just not sure of the details, and it is my husband’s job to fill in the blanks. He isn’t a ‘drunk’ or an alcoholic by any means, but he does occasionally go to the bar, alone. Too bad he can’t manage to come home that way. He often brings home whomever his beer goggles tells him is attractive, only to wake up regretting it.

What really gets me about these rendezvous of his is the fact that afterwards, if these women he wakes up with aren’t attractive and he finds that he was more messed up than he thought; he refers to them all as whores or nasty whores. I’m sick of the double standards. How is it he can sleep around with random women from different bars, yet THEY are the whores? Men can be whores too! There is no difference between a woman sleeping around and a man sleeping around and if he can’t see that, then maybe I should educate him.

I didn’t enjoy being called a slut in High School by my ex’s and their new flings, or their friends. I didn’t like the idea that there were rumors going around and guys only dated me because they bought into those lies. As it stands now, I’m married to a man I’ve been with for a very long time and we’re happy. I may not have slept around in High School, but I haven’t lacked in the sex department for many years now. We’re very sexually active, so am I a whore now? Am I a slut now because I have sex? Am I a slut because I enjoy having sex?

I want to know why it’s OK in the eyes of this ‘modern day’ world for men to sleep around and enjoy sex, but if a woman does it (or even is only rumored to do it) we’re whores or sluts? 

~Freya

Is 30 Too Young?

So here I am.  I'm normally very shy with guys in person, unless I've had several drinks.  Last weekend, I had several.  My girlfriends and I were checking out the new guy and were all admiring how cute he was.  I put the flirt on pretty strong and was dared by the end of the night to get his number.  I've never asked for a number before from a guy.  Ever.  So I approach him, and just ask the basic questions.  He denied having a wife or girlfriend.  SO I explain I was dared to get his number because I had been checking him out all night.  He already had it written down with the intention of giving it to me later.  I put it in my phone.  Promised to call him the next day and didn't.

I finally got the nerve to text him Monday.  We ended up talking on the phone briefly Monday night as I was trying to help him with a computer issue.  I'm so not a computer geek.  Nothing I told him to try worked.  Which actually made me feel better because I am NOT a computer geek.

I learned on Tuesday he is only 30 years old.  When he told me his kids' ages of two and four, I had to ask.  He never asked how old I was so I didn't tell him.  I didn't hear from him on Thursday, but he called me Friday morning.  He was very excited to tell me about his new lights he bought for his show. 

Saturday, he told me to come see him Saturday night.  I arrived and he had a girl sitting with him, so I bypassed him and sent him a text that said I'd come say hi, but he had company.  He made sure to answer back that she was just a friend.  That indicates to me that he gets that I'm interested in him romantically.  When my friends I was sitting with decided to leave, he told me to come sit with him.  He is the karaoke DJ, so I knew he was working.  He was a lot of fun and we did get to talk a little bit.  As he worked the room, I did too.  I was definitely the hottie of the bar last night and I was eating up the attention from my male friends.  I paid attention to my 30 year old when I could and even danced with him at one point in time. 

Then today, I hear nothing.  Not a single word.  Now I'm over analyzing things.  First of all, I know he's likely too young for me to be messing with.  I'm not looking for a relationship.  I want a little more than a hookup.  I'm just trying to get back into this whole dating thing.  I don't want to play games.  What's too much and not enough?  I just want someone fun to hang out with, talk to, and take care of my sexual needs.  I am not an insecure person, usually, but I definitely have my moments. I don't know what I'm doing trying this dating or guy thing.  Was it too much letting him know he wasn't the only guy checking me out last night?  Should I have stayed in my chair?  Screw that!  That's not me.  I am a social creature who craves, loves, and wants all the attention I can get and it's guilt free now that I am single!  

So I think I have figured this out. If he calls, he calls.  If he doesn't, he loses.  But if he does call, I'm going to point blank ask him if he's interested because I'm getting mixed signals.  I have needs that I want him to tend to.  I want to sample this younger man and see if I am remotely able to keep up with him.  I am so out of my element, as I was married for 14 years and with my ex for 18 years. I was a baby then.  So tell me ladies, am I doing this right?

Oh yeah, I will also add that he has a full time job as a firefighter/medic!  That's super hot to me!  HA!     

My Favorite Sexual Sin Memory. Part 1.

We have all had our kinky, outrageous, and unforgettable sexual experiences. There is nothing more satisfying then to "click" with someone, and have the chemistry to lose all inhibitions that so many people have, and just let go, and go with it. Those times, that only time, opportunity, and desire let us experience.  The one that you will never forget, no matter the days gone by, or a fading memory of a once passionate relationship. We evolve, and life goes on. We change, and we adapt. We are constantly searching for that stimulation both physically, and emotionally like a hungered cougar searching for it's next meal. Simply delicious. To me sexual pleasure is similar to a drug high. Once you have had the "oh glory hallelujah!" moment with someone, you will search to achieve it again, and again. I have so many wonderful memories, but I do have my special moment that leaves me wanting to one up it, just once. It was just perfect. The mood, the moment, the risk, the passion. It all came together.

It was a summertime weekend, and without much notice my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go for a drive. We were going to go up north to visit his Dad, and just hang out for the day. It was so hot, and no air conditioning in the car, so I dressed in a comfortable summer dress, and not much else. We left mid afternoon, and both in playful moods, were chattering, and laughing as we headed down the road. I remember the windows down and the hot summer air blowing my hair around. I had kicked off my sandals and stuck my feet up on the dash, all while tapping my toes to the music. The wind had started to blow the hem of my summer dress midway up my thigh, and looking from my thighs to his eyes, I saw he had noticed it as well. He got this grin on his face, and a hand on my thigh. Both telling me I was asking for trouble. I remember smiling and putting my head back on the seat with my eyes closed. I felt his hand running up and down my thigh, and moving it up further and further every time. I knew at that moment I was gonna get laid, and it was going to be a good one.

I don't know why I did this, other then to say I was getting turned on, and still feeling quite playful, but I left my right foot on the dash, and swung my left one over his head, and on the back of his seat. I had turned my body with my back against the door. I looked at him, smiled and put my head on the open window part of the door. His hand slid up thigh and finding no resistance from panties, I closed my eyes closed, and felt my hair blowing in the wind, without a care in the world I let myself go. It was insane, it was broad daylight, and I didn't care. I could hear trucks going by, and still offered no resistance or shame in what I was doing. It just felt so right, like I was right where I needed to be. If I would have known that it was only going to get more intense, and risky as the night wore on, it may have frightened me.