Men vs Women; the double standards

Men v Women; Double standards

                This is one of my biggest pet peeves, I knew the moment I was asked to contribute to Sinful that I would address this one!

It seems that no matter what a woman does, there’s a vile and disgusting name that describes them in the minds of men. When I was in High School, guys thought I was ‘easy’ until they dated me. Then I went from being ‘easy’ to being a ‘tease’ because I didn’t put out. Is it my fault that their friends lied to them? Must have been one hell of a rumor for several years though, because I had quite a few boyfriends, most of which ended in their utter disappointment. Truth is I wasn’t promiscuous in school. Not by normal High School standards. I will openly admit I had a few partners, and by a few, I honestly mean a small handful. I can count the number of partners I’ve had on one hand.
                Even though I didn’t sleep around in High School, if some guy I dated once upon a time discovered that I had slept with anyone, (even if it had been a year after we dated) I instantly became a slut. So, I was a tease for NOT putting out, and a slut because I put out with someone other than the guy who only wanted to date me because he thought he could get laid. How does this make any sense?

                These days, I sit around listening to my husband and his friend chit chat on the phone, which many times end with my husband laughing and my asking, ‘what did he do now?’ This man has a few bad habits that I do not admire and I would be single if my husband followed in his footsteps with some of these things. This friend of my husbands is single and not bad looking. He often tells my husband not to share these details with me, but of course he does. He can’t help it, because I always ‘know’ anyways. I am just not sure of the details, and it is my husband’s job to fill in the blanks. He isn’t a ‘drunk’ or an alcoholic by any means, but he does occasionally go to the bar, alone. Too bad he can’t manage to come home that way. He often brings home whomever his beer goggles tells him is attractive, only to wake up regretting it.

What really gets me about these rendezvous of his is the fact that afterwards, if these women he wakes up with aren’t attractive and he finds that he was more messed up than he thought; he refers to them all as whores or nasty whores. I’m sick of the double standards. How is it he can sleep around with random women from different bars, yet THEY are the whores? Men can be whores too! There is no difference between a woman sleeping around and a man sleeping around and if he can’t see that, then maybe I should educate him.

I didn’t enjoy being called a slut in High School by my ex’s and their new flings, or their friends. I didn’t like the idea that there were rumors going around and guys only dated me because they bought into those lies. As it stands now, I’m married to a man I’ve been with for a very long time and we’re happy. I may not have slept around in High School, but I haven’t lacked in the sex department for many years now. We’re very sexually active, so am I a whore now? Am I a slut now because I have sex? Am I a slut because I enjoy having sex?

I want to know why it’s OK in the eyes of this ‘modern day’ world for men to sleep around and enjoy sex, but if a woman does it (or even is only rumored to do it) we’re whores or sluts? 

~Freya